Confidence > than everything else.
Here’s the deal - skills are important, but it takes confidence to get you in the ring with the people and the opportunities that build on those skills. A tough pill for some people to swallow, especially those prone to perfectionism, overthinking and impostor syndrome.
The only difference between high-performers and those that want to be high-performers is that high-performers act before they know everything, they jump in with both feet and give up needing to be perfect.
Because they know the only real way to boost confidence is to get real-life hands on experience that builds self-esteem.
The key is building confidence before you jump into the pool, deep end first. Once you do, each experience becomes part of your “confidence bank” that your brain sees as evidence of your ability to get the job done.
Struggling with getting the necessary swagger you need to make a splash? Here’s our best advice on how to exude confidence and start getting exactly what you want in life.
Call out your Inner Debbie Downer
When you're feeling low, there's probably a mental ticker tape of problems playing on repeat. Pinpointing the thought that's dragging you down is the quickest way to get out of your head and reroute your focus to feeling like a rockstar.
At the risk of sounding a little Norman Bates, go ahead and have a convo with your inner Eeyore - ask it what the big deal really is? And make sure you point out a few of your biggest wins. Negative thinking isn’t something to be ignored and can have a negative impact on your health as well. Especially in women, negative thinking was related to low self-esteem and depressive symptoms.
Keep Your Word (to yourself)
One of the biggest self confidence killers are the lies you tell yourself.
Ever say “sure, I’ll do that” or set a goal that you know in your gut, you’re never going to actually go after?
Each time you say you’re going to do something and then you don’t follow through, your brain knows it. What happens is the next time you say you’re going to do something, immediately you don’t believe it because with each broken promise to yourself, is a depletion of confidence.
To start keeping your word, start with the small things. The tasks, ideas and goals that don’t seem overwhelming, that you do feel good about already - complete those. Each time you show up and do what you say you’re going to do, the confidence builds, making it easier and easier for you to keep gaining confidence and self-trust while stepping out of your comfort zone.
Do Something That Scares You
Speaking of comfort zones, simply stepping out of yours is enough to boost confidence quickly.
Stepping out of your comfort zone forces you to face head on what you’re trying to avoid and tackle your insecurities directly. By stepping out of your comfort zone you start to “feel the fear, but do it anyway.” With every fear you confront, you’ll not just improve your self-confidence but open more doors and opportunities that wouldn’t have been available to you otherwise.
Shake Your Moneymaker
According to former dancer and head of the Dance Psychology Lab at the University of Hertfordshire, Peter Lovatt, dancing can give you a huge boost of confidence and even potentially be used as an intervention for Parkinson's disease. Don’t like dancing? Any kind of exercise will spike endorphins and help you feel better about yourself, help boost confidence.
Despite the raging debate over the validity of the central postural feedback hypothesis, there is some compelling evidence to suggest that a power pose is a truly legit way to get a massive confidence boost. One compelling study showed adopting a powerful pose, or simply focusing on your posture can change hormonal levels and increases your propensity to take risks in the same ways that possessing actual power does.
The grouchy neighbor, the so-not-a-team player, the (yikes) mother-in-law. Like it or not, people can trigger anxieties and general low-ness. But it's not really the person we have an issue with, it’s the action. Calling that out in a cool, direct way will be scary but it will also make you feel instantly awesome. And if you need to, set clear specific boundaries to help you keep your relationships healthy and stress-free. Also, create clear expectations about when and why you will call them out in the future. By confronting people (in a kind way) you’ll start to feel more equipped to deal with people and disagreements as situations arise.
How do you gain self-confidence that helps you reach your goals? Are we missing a few of your favorite (quick) tips? Make sure to tell us in the comments below.